I haven’t written anything on
this blog in awhile. It’s not because I
haven’t had the desire to, it’s because our lives feel so busy and full right
now that there just isn’t time. Lately,
I’ve had a lot on my mind and I feel the need to let it all out, so here it
goes...
On Sunday, I sat in the
kitchen eating lunch in my pajamas. I
was tired and feeling sorry for myself.
Our house looked like it had been hit by a tornado, the typical weekend
mess that piles up as we rush from one activity to the next. I sat there thinking about how unbelievably
sticky my kitchen floors were, trying to remember the last time I had gotten down
on my hands and knees and given them a good scrub. At least a month? Maybe two?
I couldn’t remember. The months
have a way of blending into each other when you’re home with two small
kids. I sat there trying to remember
what life was like without Ben and Kate, when Boris and I use to clean the
entire house every Thursday evening so it was fresh for the weekend. And for a moment...just a moment I wondered
if someone without children and a clean house would like to trade lives with me
for a day of two.
I love my children. I wanted them more than I had ever wanted anyone or anything in my entire life. But, I’m
pretty sure I’m not alone in those moments when I wish I could be somewhere
else. It’s all a little overwhelming at
times. The thing is though, it’s not the
“parenting” that has felt overwhelming for me over the last little while, it’s
the struggle between all the things I feel I should be doing verses spending
time with the people I love.
At the beginning of January,
I set a goal to organize our entire house.
Despite my best efforts, our house still feels messy and disorganized. How does this happen? How can our house still be bursting at the
seams even after I’ve lugged bag after bag of stuff we don’t use to
Goodwill? How do we acquire so many
things we don’t really need? All of
these possessions just take away from what really matters. I long for a time when people had fewer
things and more of each other.
So I’ve decided to go on a
journey, to honor the things in our home that have meaning and purpose and let
everything else fall away. I want to
live with less. I want to spend more
time with my children and less time worrying about how cluttered our basement
is. I want my children to grow up loving
the people around them, not the things that they own. I may write more on this topic as I go
through my journey, I may not. But today,
I’m putting it out there...
