Two Weeks Old

New

Holding Kate

Katharine Amelia

Boris and I welcomed our daughter Kate into the world on May 08, 2012 at 9:34 AM, weighing 6 pounds, 13 ounces, measuring 19 inches long.  We’ve spent the last few days soaking in her sweetness and enjoying our time as a family of four.  We’re falling more and more in love with her each day and feel so blessed to have her in our lives.  

On the Brink of Change

It’s 3:00 AM and I’m wide awake.  All that separates us from change is one day.  Our last day as a family of three.  Today, I am a mother of one.  Tomorrow a new chapter begins.  That in itself is met with mixed emotions, sadness, anticipation, excitement.  There is something special, something simple about having only one child and I have tried to cherish that over the past few months.  I have thought about this day a lot and what it will be like, knowing, that it is our last day together, Ben and I, before life changes once again.  Today I am going to abandon my daily tasks and get down on the floor (if I physically can) and watch Ben play, soak him up, breath him in, let him eat doughnuts and chocolate milk for lunch.  I’m going to enjoy him, appreciate him, spoil him and marvel at how far he’s come.  

I know technically, I’m already a mother of two but this baby is still invisible in many ways to me.  I've been her mother since cells began to divide back in August but she is still within, a little mystery tucked away.  I can feel her and my stomach has grown to the size of a large watermelon but until I see her, hold her, touch her, she is still somewhat out of reach.  When I think about this baby, about finally meeting this little being, I am ready.  I am ready to fall in love, intensely, fiercely, instantly.  When I think about how much love I felt for Ben the moment he was born, it’s almost too much to handle.  I can’t wait to feel that again for this baby.  I can’t wait to lay eyes on her for the first time.  I can’t wait to find out for certain that she is a girl.  I can’t wait to hold her with Boris at my side and pick out which features are his and which are mine.  I can’t wait to watch as this new personality unfolds into our lives.  Today this baby is still unknown, a little stranger moving around inside me.  Tomorrow she’ll be real.  And I can’t wait...

Happy Easter!

It's hard to believe we've celebrated three Easter's with Ben already!  Maybe next year will be the year I finally get a more co-operative subject...

A Good Friend, a Cup of Tea...and the Chaos That Surrounds Us

Yesterday, Ben and I went for lunch to a good friend’s house.  Since the beginning of my pregnancy, we haven’t done much visiting so it was a nice treat for both of us.  I spent my first trimester on the couch, tired and sick.  Scared too, because of the complications and uncertainties I faced early on.  It was easier to sleep fall away, somehow convinced it was safer, that everything would be all right, if I just stayed at home.  My second trimester was busy between Jenny’s wedding, Christmas and Ben’s Birthday.  And so far, I’ve spent the last trimester resting, getting ready for this baby and soaking in the time I have left alone with Ben.

Yesterday, my friend and I sat and talked as our three children played, screamed, fought and laughed.  Chaos.  Beautiful chaos.  I often marvel, in these situations, how several years ago all these little beings that we’ve created didn’t exist.  They were hopes and wishes that we dreamt about as we sat around the table as adults, eating and drinking in the peace and quiet of our much tidier homes.  I know that one day, soon enough, we will have that back.  Because children are only small for so long.  Because time is fleeting and passes quickly.  Before long, we’ll be sitting in silence once again, talking without interruption, without having to get up from the table numerous times during a meal.  We will talk about our teenage, and then adult children and their accomplishments.  

So for now, I’ll take the chaos, someone tugging on my hand saying, “play, play” because I can’t bear the thought of my children growing up.  There will come a time when they’ve learned all the lessons they need from us.  They will venture out onto their own and build a future on the foundation we have lovingly laid for them.  

Yesterday, there wasn’t enough time to even scratch the surface, there never is.  I didn’t get to say all I needed to say, but it was way past naptime and for now, our children, still so innocent and small, come first.

Snippets of Our Day: February 05 - February 11

Our Last Trip as Three

We spent the past weekend hanging out with Boris’ brother, Vlad, his wife, Kim and sweet little Ruby at the Old Entrance Bed ‘n Breakfast.  Instead of exchanging Christmas presents this year, we all agreed to get away for a few days of fun together.  Ben loved playing outside in his rubber boots (he was covered in mud from head to toe).  We did a little bit of shopping in Jasper and ate lots of amazing food.  Next time, I’ll be packing for four!

Snippets of Our Day: January 29 - February 04