We ended May with a bang in our house the other night. Actually, it was two big thumps, a loud cry followed by an unconscious little boy and a trip to the hospital. I guess we hadn’t quite reached our quota of excitement this month.
Boris and I were in the living room talking about what to do for dinner when Ben fell off a chair. We heard a loud thump and then another. We rushed into the kitchen and Boris picked Ben up, who was crying, huddled in a ball on the floor. Ben reached out for me, as he often does when he’s hurt or upset and I took him in my arms. He was silent, trying so hard to make a sound. I can always tell how badly he’s hurt by the pause between his cries. This one was long, too long. He was struggling and I could see the panic in his eyes. Then, he went limp and his eyes rolled back into his head for a second or two. Ben wasn’t breathing and once his is eyes rolled back they were lifeless. For a moment, the little boy unconscious in my arms didn’t resemble my son. I yelled at Boris to call 911, he scrambled to find a phone and then, thankfully Ben began to cry. It all happened within a matter of seconds. Time slowed down, it felt like an eternity had passed. Afterward, I rocked him and spoke to him softly until he calmed down. He sat quietly in Boris’ lap while I phoned Health Link. They recommended we take him to the hospital for an assessment, just to be safe. By the time I was off the phone he seemed to be back to normal so we grabbed some burgers on our way to the emergency room. They checked Ben out from head to toe and monitored him for a few hours before letting us go home. Fortunately he was all right.
Even after Ben’s fall the other night, I’m still quite relaxed when it comes to letting him explore the world around him. I believe it’s important for children to learn their own boundaries. It’s my job as a parent to protect him as much as it’s my job to teach him how to stand on his own two feet in this world. Parenting is about knowing when to hold on and when to step back and let go. Unless Ben is in clear danger or behaving inappropriately, I allow him the space he needs to figure things out on his own. Ben wasn’t in imminent danger the night he fell. He spends half his day standing on a chair against the kitchen counter playing, learning. If I stand behind him, hovering, afraid he might fall or get hurt I’m not preparing him for life. I want him to be confident; I want him to continue to be brave, not fearful. If I had a different child maybe I would parent differently. However, Ben is whom we were graced with; Ben is who was meant for us. We’re all learning together. I know Ben’s going to spend his whole life testing the limits, that’s just who he is; adventurous, fearless and brave.
