The New Night

Ben woke up the other night just as we were getting ready for bed.  After a few failed attempts to get him back to sleep, we brought him into bed with us.  Our arms arched over his head, holding hands, our feet touching under the covers, he fell asleep sandwiched between us.  Things have changed.  

At 4:00 AM Ben started to stir so I stumbled to the kitchen to get him some milk.  He drank the milk then snuggled next to me, his head pressed hard against mine.  His love almost hurts at times.  He hasn’t learned the subtleties of life; that affection should be soft and gentle.  The way I love has changed.  

After we snuggled together, he tossed and turned, unable to fall asleep between us.  I took him back to his crib, he protested for 30 seconds before lying down and talking softly to Bear.  I crawled back into bed and curled up next to Boris, he wrapped his arms around me in his sleep, and for a few hours, life was back to the way it was before Ben.  Nights have changed.    

Not all nights are restless, disturbed.  Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night to stillness and I have to remind myself that I’m 100% responsible for the little life sleeping in the room down the hall.  Having a child changes you, your heart forever walking around outside your body, but I wouldn’t change a thing. 

Music Together

Ben and I attended our first Music Together class on a cool Monday morning in late September last year.  A few songs in, even with my limited musical knowledge, I knew that what we were taking part in was so much more than just sitting in a circle singing songs.  That first hour was almost magical for me and I knew we were both going to learn and grow as the weeks passed.  Ben enjoyed his first class too and I could tell his little sponge was soaking.  

There is so much to love about Music Together but what I appreciate the most is that the children are encouraged to learn in their own way, which means, I don’t spend the entire class fighting to keep my little mover on my lap as I have in other programs.  Ben spends his musical hour roaming around, watching, playing with other children or standing a few inches away from our teacher, Geneva, mesmerized as she sings and plays the guitar.  Ben’s face lights up every morning when I turn on his CD to start our day.  And often, I’ll catch him bouncing to a perfect beat while he’s playing.  

Music is very important in our home.  Ben eats to music, plays to music and endures long cars rides to music.  We listen to a good assortment throughout the day, from the Dave Matthews Band to Raffi to Bach.  Music helps break up the day; it keeps us moving and feeling alive.  I am thankful to have found such a wonderful program that builds on what we incorporate into our daily lives at home.  

In the Groove

Yesterday was a good day.  Ben took two naps (I got in a morning one as well), we went shopping, and I did four loads of laundry, cleaned the kitchen and made dinner.  It was one of those seamless days and, I realized, that after 15 months, I have found my groove as a stay-at-home mom.  

When I think back to my first few months with Ben, although he was an incredibly easy baby, I didn’t really accomplish anything most days.  I remember a friend asking me what a typical day was like and I didn’t really know how to answer.  What did I do all day?  Very little was being done around the house and, I’ll admit, Boris was coming home from work and cooking dinner most nights.  I considered the day a success if took a shower and ate lunch by 3:00 PM.  Thinking back now, it had little to do with my lack of time and more so that my priorities had shifted.  Meeting Ben’s needs and getting to know him was the most important thing in my life.  A spotless house wasn’t at the top of my list anymore.  Those first precious months are still a bit of a blur.  The days passed quickly and how I filled all those hours is somewhat of a mystery to me.  

Everyone’s transition into parenthood is unique.  It’s a huge adjustment regardless of whether your experience is easy or difficult.  Some women can’t wait for their babies to grow more independent and interactive.  I, on the other hand, wanted Ben to stay new and small.  I loved the way he’d sleep for hours draped over my arm.  I loved his exaggerated facial expressions, the little noises he made, how tiny he was.  I spent countless hours watching him sleep, marveling at how we had created something so perfect and so beautiful.  I fell in love with Ben more and more with each passing day.  I was lucky, other than the challenge of learning how to breastfeed, Ben was a mellow baby who slept well and rarely cried.  Boris was an amazing dad from the moment our son was born and we fell into our new roles without difficulty and worked together as a team.  

These days I feel like I can accomplish a lot throughout the day.  Ben naps well and is fiercely independent.  He can entertain himself for hours, but on the flip side, he can also find trouble in the blink of an eye.  There are times when I miss having him all curled up in my arms, but at the same time, I am thankful for the freedom this new stage brings. 

 Ben, 6 weeks old

Two Years Ago

Exactly two years ago today, Easter Monday 2009, we found out I was expecting Ben. What an amazing journey we have been on ever since...

Asparagus Soup

This delicious recipe comes from the book 100 Best Fresh Soups.  The only modification I’ve made is substituting ground wild rice (just grind rice in a coffee grinder) in place of all-purpose flour.  I learned this great tip a few years back from a very health conscious friend.  This soup is a little time consuming to make but it is well worth the effort. 

Asparagus Soup (Serves 6) 

1 bunch asparagus, about 12 oz/350 g

3 cups vegetable stock

1/4 cup butter

1 onion, chopped

3 Tbsp. ground wild rice or all-purpose flour

1/4 tsp. ground coriander

3/4 tsp. salt

1/8 tsp. pepper

1 Tbsp. lemon juice

2 cups milk

4 Tbsp. heavy cream

Wash and trim the asparagus, discarding the woody part of the stem.  Cut the remainder into short lengths, reserving a few tips for garnish.  

Cook the tips in the minimum of boiling salted water for 5 – 10 minutes.  Drain and set aside.

Put the asparagus in a saucepan with the stock, bring to a boil, cover, and simmer for about 20 minutes, until soft.  Drain and reserve the stock.

Melt the butter in a saucepan.  Add the onion and cook over low heat until soft, but only barely coloured.  Stir in the ground wild rice or all-purpose flour and cook for 1 minute, then gradually whisk in the reserved stock and bring to a boil.

Simmer for 2 – 3 minutes, until thickened, then stir in the cooked asparagus, coriander, salt, pepper and lemon juice.  Simmer for 10 minutes.  Remove from heat and allow to cool a little.  Transfer to a food processor or blender and process until smooth.

Pour into saucepan, add the milk and reserved asparagus tips, and bring to a boil.  Simmer for 2 minutes.  Stir in the cream, reheat gently, and serve.

Ben the Brave

On Friday afternoon, Ben pushed a chair up to the counter to play with the dishes I had washed earlier and put on the rack to dry.  He was entertaining himself nicely with a water bottle and some straws, so I stepped out of the room for a few minutes to use the washroom (alone, in peace).  When I came back, Ben had climbed up onto the kitchen counter, opened the cupboard doors and was taking out my glasses, one by one.  I took this video before removing him from danger (please note, I was close enough to catch him if he happened to slip while I was filming).  

Ben is brave and he loves to climb and explore the world.  I’m going to thank our long winter indoors for his advanced mountaineering skills. 

Banana Flaxseed Bread

This banana bread is a staple in our house.  I almost always have some on hand in the breadbox or freezer for a quick breakfast or snack.  I got this recipe from a co-worker years ago and have modified it to make it a little healthier.  I swapped the all-purpose flour for whole wheat, cut the sugar in half and have added ground flaxseed to the recipe.  It’s quick, simple and very tasty.  You can make a nice big loaf or divide it into mini-muffin tins for a kid-friendly snack.  

Banana Flaxseed Bread (Makes 1 Loaf or 48 Mini-Muffins) 

1/2 cup butter

1/2 cup unbleached sugar

1/4 cup ground flaxseed

2 eggs

3 medium ripe bananas (mashed)

1 3/4 cups whole wheat flour

1/2 tsp. salt

1 tsp. baking soda

1/2 tsp. baking powder

Additional Ingredients 

I always add an extra ingredient or two for variety since it’s a favorite in our house.  The other day I added a 1/4 cup of whole flaxseed for a little extra crunch.  Here are some other suggestions.  I’ve tried all of them (with exception of the nuts, since I have nut allergy).

1/4 cup – whole flaxseed, sunflower seeds or pumpkin seeds

1/2 cup – raisins, cranberries, coarsely grated zucchini, nuts or chocolate chips 

Preheat oven to 350F.  Grease a 9X5X3 inch loaf pan or mini-muffin tins.   

Cream butter, sugar and flaxseed until fluffy.  Beat in eggs one at a time until smooth.  Add mashed bananas and blend in.

Add flour, salt, baking soda and baking powder to the banana mixture.  Stir only to moister.  Add any additional ingredients and stir.  

Pour dough into a 9X5X3 inch loaf pan and bake for 45 – 60 minutes or divide dough into mini-muffin tins and bake for 9 – 13 minutes. 

Orange Oatmeal Raisin Cookies

Before having Ben, I worked downtown in close proximity to a Cookies by George.  I had a healthy obsession with their Chewy Oatmeal Cookie.  Over the years, their cookie prices kept rising so I decided to make my own version of their oatmeal cookie.  They had a hint of orange that made them irresistible.  I took a recipe for Oatmeal Power Cookies (which I’ll share someday as well) and modified it to create these delicious cookies.   

Orange Oatmeal Raisin Cookies (Makes 24 Cookies) 

1/2 cup butter

1/2 cup unbleached sugar

1/4 cup ground flaxseed

1 egg

1 tsp. vanilla extract

1 medium naval orange

2/3 cup whole wheat flour

1/2 tsp. salt

1/2 tsp. baking soda

2 cups rolled oats

1/4 cup unsweetened coconut

1/2 cup raisins 

Preheat oven to 350F.  Line two baking sheets with parchment paper.   

Cream butter, sugar and flaxseed until fluffy.  Add egg and beat thoroughly.  Mix in vanilla. 

Wash orange thoroughly under hot water using a mild soap or vegetable wash.  Dry and zest orange.  Squeeze 2 Tbsp. orange juice (about half of the medium orange).  Mix in orange zest and orange juice.

Add flour, salt and baking soda. Mix well.   Add oats, coconut and raisins.  Mix until blended.  

Using a tablespoon, spoon mixture on baking sheets (I find the dough easier to manage if it sits in the fridge for at least an hour).  Using the bottom of a drinking glass, lightly press the cookie dough to slightly flatten.  Dip the glass in a bit of water to prevent sticking.

Bake for 15 – 20 minutes until edges are done but centers are soft.  Remove to a rack and cool.

Baking

Ben and I have been a little under the weather this week.  I‘m nursing a cold and Ben’s either working on some new teeth or he’s sick too.  We’ve been lying low at home for the last few days so I thought I’d get a little baking done.  Yesterday I mustered up enough energy to walk to the grocery store to buy a few ingredients and bake a batch of Banana Flaxseed Bread and Orange Oatmeal Raisin Cookies before an afternoon nap.  Ben “baked” alongside me with his own bowls, spoons and measuring cups.  It’s amazing how something so simple can keep him occupied for such a long time.  When I have a moment, I’ll post the recipes for both of these tasty treats.   

A Morning at the Beach

Ben and I spent our last morning in Vancouver playing at the beach in Kitsilano.  It was cool and rainy outside but I decided we were going to venture out anyway.  Other than a few runners, the beach was deserted.  It was just Ben, the ocean and I.  As he walked around exploring, I wondered to myself, if I lived near the ocean would I bring Ben down on a rainy day?  Chances are, we would stay inside and play all day as we do at home when it’s cold and snowy.  Ben did not care that the sky was grey, that the air was cool or that it was raining.  He focused on what was important to him; picking up rocks, chasing birds, splashing in his first mud puddle.  Children are like that.  They live in the here and now.  Whether they are throwing themselves on the floor in frustration or splashing in a puddle, they are present and living in the moment.  They aren’t dwelling on the past or thinking ahead to the future.  How often, as adults, do we live that fully, completely absorbed, simply enjoying what’s around us?  

Wedding Dress Shopping

Last Tuesday, Jenny tried on wedding dresses at the bridal boutique she works at.  She looked amazing in everything but the dress she chose is simply stunning and 100% her style.  Here are a few pictures I took that evening (minus the dress she chose.  We wouldn’t want to ruin the surprise).  If you’re interested in the details of the dresses, you can check out her blog post about choosing a wedding dress here.

Kitsilano Beach

Hello Vancouver

Last Friday, my mom, Ben and I left the cold, snowy weather behind to visit my sister Jenny and her fiancé Darren in Vancouver.  We spend most of our time shopping, walking, eating and relaxing (I did as much relaxing as one can do trying to keep a busy toddler out of trouble).  Ben enjoyed playing at the beach most mornings in his new yellow rubber boots.  On Tuesday, we had a lovely visit with Boris’ cousin Sonja and her daughter Makena.  That evening, Jenny tried on wedding dresses at Frocks.  What a great trip!  Pictures to follow...