Yesterday was a good day. Ben took two naps (I got in a morning one as well), we went shopping, and I did four loads of laundry, cleaned the kitchen and made dinner. It was one of those seamless days and, I realized, that after 15 months, I have found my groove as a stay-at-home mom.
When I think back to my first few months with Ben, although he was an incredibly easy baby, I didn’t really accomplish anything most days. I remember a friend asking me what a typical day was like and I didn’t really know how to answer. What did I do all day? Very little was being done around the house and, I’ll admit, Boris was coming home from work and cooking dinner most nights. I considered the day a success if took a shower and ate lunch by 3:00 PM. Thinking back now, it had little to do with my lack of time and more so that my priorities had shifted. Meeting Ben’s needs and getting to know him was the most important thing in my life. A spotless house wasn’t at the top of my list anymore. Those first precious months are still a bit of a blur. The days passed quickly and how I filled all those hours is somewhat of a mystery to me.
Everyone’s transition into parenthood is unique. It’s a huge adjustment regardless of whether your experience is easy or difficult. Some women can’t wait for their babies to grow more independent and interactive. I, on the other hand, wanted Ben to stay new and small. I loved the way he’d sleep for hours draped over my arm. I loved his exaggerated facial expressions, the little noises he made, how tiny he was. I spent countless hours watching him sleep, marveling at how we had created something so perfect and so beautiful. I fell in love with Ben more and more with each passing day. I was lucky, other than the challenge of learning how to breastfeed, Ben was a mellow baby who slept well and rarely cried. Boris was an amazing dad from the moment our son was born and we fell into our new roles without difficulty and worked together as a team.
These days I feel like I can accomplish a lot throughout the day. Ben naps well and is fiercely independent. He can entertain himself for hours, but on the flip side, he can also find trouble in the blink of an eye. There are times when I miss having him all curled up in my arms, but at the same time, I am thankful for the freedom this new stage brings.
Ben, 6 weeks old
