This week marks the half way
point of my pregnancy. Honestly, I haven’t
written much about this baby because it’s been a bumpy road so far. I found it hard to write when there was so
much uncertainly in my heart. My first
trimester was challenging, both physically and emotionally. In addition to the extreme exhaustion and all
day nausea, I had a string of complications and couldn’t seem to catch a break. In the first 12 weeks of my pregnancy, I had
five doctor’s appointments, four ultrasounds and made countless panicked calls
to the wonderful nurses at my clinic. There
were many days and nights where I didn’t think I’d get the chance to announce my pregnancy let alone meet this baby.
Although all of my complications have since passed and this baby looks
healthy and has a strong heartbeat, I still wake up every morning and
hold my breath, waiting to feel that first wiggle or kick of the day.
I don’t want this post to sound
negative. For me, sharing my struggles
is about acknowledging that the past few months have been difficult and moving
onto a better place. I’m finally
beginning to enjoy this pregnancy and connect with the quiet little being
growing inside me. A few weeks ago, we
found out our baby’s gender and we’ve chosen a name. The ultrasound tech “couldn’t see any boy
parts” so it looks like we’ll be welcoming a little girl come May (I’ll still
be packing a blue outfit and a short list of boy names in my hospital bag though...just
in case). Although our baby’s name will
remain a surprise until she’s born, spring will be here before we know it...hopefully.
Everything
grows rounder and wider and weirder, and I sit in the middle of it all and
wonder who in the world you will turn out to be.
-
Carrie Fisher
